Saturday, February 22, 2003

From Scrappleface: L.A. Council Adopts Resolutions Against War, Crime
(2003-02-22) -- Moments after a 9-4 vote on a resolution to oppose a U.S. war against Iraq, the Los Angeles City Council approved another measure opposing crime in L.A.

"Once we realized that we had the power to affect global policy, we decided to apply it to our own situation," said one city council member. "The criminals and gangs of L.A. now know that we oppose such behavior. That ought to take care of it."

The council hall was filled with peace protestors for the historic vote. One man and his 9-year-old son were dressed in ragged clothes, bandages and fake blood. Fred Greissing said he and his son came dressed that way to dramatize his fears about children dying in a war on Iraq.

"But when they brought up the resolution about crime in L.A., I thought 'Hey, these costumes will work for that too'," Mr. Greissing said. "When you think about it, the city council hasn't figured out how to stop the drug dealers and other terrorists in our streets. Who are they to tell the President what to do about Saddam?"

On next week's city council agenda -- a resolution to secede from the United States and become a French colony.

and from a neighboring state:

Gephardt Insists He's Really Running for President
(2003-02-20) -- Rep. Dick Gephardt, D-MO, whose leadership is credited with securing Republican control of Congress, insists he is really running for President.

An overnight poll shows that 73 percent of Americans believe the Gephardt announcement story originated on "one of those satire web sites." The other 27 percent think Mr. Gephardt declared his candidacy "just to get media to show up at his press conference."

But the candidate himself insists, "I'm really running...really."

Experts now estimate the number of Democrat presidential candidates is "into the double digits." The federal government printing office has reportedly run out of exploratory committee paper forms and is scrambling to print more.

Political pundits acknowledge that among the flock of Democrat candidates, Mr. Gephardt could be a front runner, "if he can overcome his high name recognition."

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