Tuesday, April 15, 2003
Great items from Scrappleface:
WorldCom Changes Name to Clinton
(2003-04-14) -- In an effort to distance itself from its past transgressions and legal problems, WorldCom announced today that it would emerge from bankruptcy under the brand name 'Clinton.'
"Although we continue to maintain that we did not have illegal corporate relations with anyone, our PR department recommended a fresh start," said a WorldCom spokesman. "Clinton was a natural choice, given our history in the deep South. Under the new name we think people will eventually forget about all the bad stuff."
The spokesman went on to talk fondly about the firm's founding in Clinton, Mississippi. The board is also considering a plan to relocate corporate headquarters "somewhere further north."
by Scott Ott | Link | Comment (13) | TrackBack (1) | Donate | Email Story | Top
AND this one is even better:
April 13, 2003
Gen. Tommy Franks Can't Wait to Retire
(2003-04-13) -- U.S. Gen. Tommy Franks said today that he can't wait to retire so he'll have a better understanding of what's going on with U.S. military operations.
"Retired generals have better operational information than I do," said Gen. Franks. "When I give a news conference now, everything I say is doubted by the reporters. But when I'm retired, the big news media will hire me to talk about what's really going on in the theater of operations. I'm just not in the loop right now."
Gen. Franks said he often calls retired generals to gather intelligence about the movements of U.S. forces, and predictions about what will happen next.
by Scott Ott | Link | Comment (47) | TrackBack (3) | Donate | Email Story | Top
WorldCom Changes Name to Clinton
(2003-04-14) -- In an effort to distance itself from its past transgressions and legal problems, WorldCom announced today that it would emerge from bankruptcy under the brand name 'Clinton.'
"Although we continue to maintain that we did not have illegal corporate relations with anyone, our PR department recommended a fresh start," said a WorldCom spokesman. "Clinton was a natural choice, given our history in the deep South. Under the new name we think people will eventually forget about all the bad stuff."
The spokesman went on to talk fondly about the firm's founding in Clinton, Mississippi. The board is also considering a plan to relocate corporate headquarters "somewhere further north."
by Scott Ott | Link | Comment (13) | TrackBack (1) | Donate | Email Story | Top
AND this one is even better:
April 13, 2003
Gen. Tommy Franks Can't Wait to Retire
(2003-04-13) -- U.S. Gen. Tommy Franks said today that he can't wait to retire so he'll have a better understanding of what's going on with U.S. military operations.
"Retired generals have better operational information than I do," said Gen. Franks. "When I give a news conference now, everything I say is doubted by the reporters. But when I'm retired, the big news media will hire me to talk about what's really going on in the theater of operations. I'm just not in the loop right now."
Gen. Franks said he often calls retired generals to gather intelligence about the movements of U.S. forces, and predictions about what will happen next.
by Scott Ott | Link | Comment (47) | TrackBack (3) | Donate | Email Story | Top
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