Tuesday, August 31, 2004
an odd loss
I'm feeling a bit odd yesterday and today. The last of my two "headed-for-marriage" relationships (but not quite making it) was killed in a car crash early Sunday morning - the other car crossed the center line. He died on the scene and the driver's wife was lifeflighted to Wichita but died 3 hours later. I wasn't quite sure what to do but in consultation with friends have written the sister whom I remained friends with (and whom introduced us in the firs place) although haven't seen in a few months because she's busy with 2 young boys and work but will not attend the funeral. He was the one that dumped me after I was in his sister's wedding and so it's a mix of feelings- mainly that I won't ever happen to run into him again (he runs the other way anyway). On paper we were perfect but reality was a whole different matter when push came to shove. I walked away (after one serious session of begging) knowing I had done absolutely everything I could to make it work. When someone refuses to communicate and let you in, there's nothing else you can do. So, it's a weird loss. I am mostly concerned about his 3 sisters - he was their rock since they lost their dad almost 20 years ago. He and I had both turned 40 in July . . . . a landmark year when you're sitting right on top of it.
Two years ago I lost a good friend from college unexpectedly to a very quick cancer. It's one thing for people your age to start dying and being killed in accidents but quite another when it hits so much closer to home.
My instinct is to reach out to the family but that's not appropriate. If nothing else, I guess a reminder that we have to appreciate each day more and more because there are only fewer of them as time passes . . .
Two years ago I lost a good friend from college unexpectedly to a very quick cancer. It's one thing for people your age to start dying and being killed in accidents but quite another when it hits so much closer to home.
My instinct is to reach out to the family but that's not appropriate. If nothing else, I guess a reminder that we have to appreciate each day more and more because there are only fewer of them as time passes . . .
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