Wednesday, July 06, 2005

ScrappleFace: Bush: U.S.-Mexico 'Border' Renamed 'Junction'

ScrappleFace: Bush: U.S.-Mexico 'Border' Renamed 'Junction': "
June 30, 2005
Bush: U.S.-Mexico 'Border' Renamed 'Junction'
by Scott Ott

(2005-06-30) -- In an effort to reframe the national security debate in a way that could placate critics within his own party, President George Bush today announced that the U.S.-Mexico border has been renamed the 'U.S.-Mexico junction'.

The executive order changing the terminology follows the president's meeting with linguistic consultant George Lakoff, who recently helped the Democrat party realize that Americans don't oppose their liberal ideology, just the words they use to talk about key issues.

'Folks get concerned when illegal aliens, of unknown origin and motivations pour across the border by the thousands each day,' said Mr. Bush. 'But I now understand that the real issue is the word 'border' itself. It's so forbidding and sounds like a barrier rather than place of coming together.'

The Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) immediately hired a consultant from Wal-Mart to retrain border guards for their new junction function, which closely mirrors the role of a Wal-Mart 'People Greeter'.

'There's a security element to the job,' the president said. 'But for the most part, it's about making folks feel welcome in our free and open society, and not discriminating against those who violate our laws. After all, most of them have never been arrested or convicted, and in America you're innocent until proven guilty.'"


I especially like the part about the Wal-mart greeters . . .

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