Saturday, February 20, 2010

Not a Good Reason to Blog

Despite my best efforts, blogging remains spotty this year.

I'm sitting in a hospital ICU waiting room with Dad. I was in Newark on Thursday morning when I received word that Mom had suffered a major heart attack. Friends in New York helped me get a flight home arranged relatively quickly after I was able to figure out how to go "back" on the new train route between NJ and NY I was trying. The security line was the longest I have ever been in but ended up being the worst travel headache of the day. I scored an exit-row seat at check-in and no one sat next to me so I had two seats with no one in my lap nor a seatback in my face. My luggage arrived quickly and friends arrived shortly thereafter so that they could drive me home and not leave my vehicle at the airport. Another friend brought me from my home tot he hospital and I spent the first night with Dad. I missed Molly the Dog but given her still having issues with Dad, it was better to leave her at the vet's office another day. The neighbor was able to pick her up before closing last night since I was getting home late and another friend who had to come back to hometown to attend an event drove me back. It was good to drive my own vehicle over today. And to sleep in my own bed last night and great therapy to see my happy little girl last night. I've made arrangements with the vet for when my neighbor (her boyfriend's mom) can't keep an eye on her since we just don't know what the next week even brings.

My brother's friend who is a doctor came down and explained to us more about what was going on. Mom's smoking damaged the walls of her blood vessels and one gave out Thursday morning and caused a total cardiovascular shutdown. She is still sedated but once they feel like they can remove the vent, her will to live will most likely be the ultimate determinant. She is mildly responding to us by squeezing our hands and so we continue to talk to her and hold her hand when we can.

The only close relative I've lost is my grandmother when I was a junior in high school. But I was a teenager and she was an "old lady". And she was never the nurturing kind even though she loved us so there was much more distance. And two people my age were killed in accidents in their 20s and 30s but that, too, was different.

I had been in hometown twice last week for various meetings and events and Dad and I had talked a bit about how we knew we only had a year or two more with her but we certainly weren't expecting this event this soon. From what I've learned, she's known for about 6 weeks that something was different. Most likely her chest didn't hurt (as a prime heart attack indicator) because her chest already hurts from her labored breathing. And until they can take the vent out and quite sedating her, they just won't know how much damage has been done to her entire body. The nurses and doctors have been good about explaining what they know but it's mostly waiting. Luckily, I can do most of my essential work next week online.

And Facebook has been a wonderful tool to communicate as has text messaging.

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Thinking of you and your family, hoping for the best ...
Thanks, profgrrrrl. I appreciate it.
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